Chapped
Molly LOVES lip balm. LOVES it. In the morning she will take it off my dresser and put it in her pocket. She loves taking the top off, applying some to her lips, putting the top back on and putting it back in her pocket. She will also take Lori's lip balm off her night stand. If we hide it on the mantle or on top of the bookcase, she can spot it from across the room, make us pick her up and carry her over to it, and then nab it before we know what she is after. When Heidi comes over and puts her purse down, Molly immediately starts rummaging through it to find HER lip balm. If I have managed to sneak mine into my pocket out of her sight, it does no good; she digs in my pocket until she finds it.
So in this season of very dry air, in order to sooth my lips I have to ask Molly for lip balm. She's very helpful. She takes it out of HER pocket, takes the top off, then hands me the tube while she keeps the top. When I'm done, I have to return it to her so that she can put the top back on and return the tube to her pocket.
That is how I have lost several tubes of balm recently. And that is what put me in the following predicament. Molly had obsconded with my balm for a few days and my lips were in pain. On the way home from work one day, I stopped at the store to pick up some beer. Since they had sundries for sale behind the counter, I didn't think it would hurt to ask: "Do you have any Chapstick?" The nice woman behind the counter tilted her head to one side and said, "Well, we don't sell any here, but I have some if you want to use mine."
Hmm.
So in this season of very dry air, in order to sooth my lips I have to ask Molly for lip balm. She's very helpful. She takes it out of HER pocket, takes the top off, then hands me the tube while she keeps the top. When I'm done, I have to return it to her so that she can put the top back on and return the tube to her pocket.
That is how I have lost several tubes of balm recently. And that is what put me in the following predicament. Molly had obsconded with my balm for a few days and my lips were in pain. On the way home from work one day, I stopped at the store to pick up some beer. Since they had sundries for sale behind the counter, I didn't think it would hurt to ask: "Do you have any Chapstick?" The nice woman behind the counter tilted her head to one side and said, "Well, we don't sell any here, but I have some if you want to use mine."
Hmm.
posted by David at 8:45 PM
7 Comments:
EGADS! i have soo, soo, so many things to say about this. most of which i've already said to you, David, but i will now say in "print."
1. ick.
2. was she hitting on you? do i need to kick some ass?
3. to quote our dear pete, and his much loved haiku:
"lori, i too do
not like to share chapstick:
it is gross."
(i've misquoted, or miscounted lines, but the all- important point is made.)
um, thanks for the story, though.
Do you guys know about Spazzstick, the world's only caffeinated lip balm? Something you might want to check out.
http://www.spazzstick.com/
eww, for sure!
Wow, Beiser, thanks for the tip. Did you read the FAQ? The thing about what to do if attacked by a squirrel? Is this just a coincidence? Hmmmm.
An ass-kicking is clearly necessary.
Haiku
Lori, I also do not let others use my chapstick.
It is gross.
Wow, this is quite the "Minnesota Nice" occurance. I think you should write to the Pi-Press and "saint" this generous chapstick sharer.
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